i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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