return my video game
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
