Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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