he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I am naked and annoyed.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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