when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
