i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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