So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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