So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
