If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
