Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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