well I can't set my house on fire every night
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
