He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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