Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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