Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
