Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
