Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
