we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize