Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
