His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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