Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize