yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
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So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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