she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
