U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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