I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
