Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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