That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
