You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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