I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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