I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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