two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
