why didn't you poke me back
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
