I'm really into asian looking animals
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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