i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
