she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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