I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
