yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
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She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
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You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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