i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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