Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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