New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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