I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
