im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
