Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize