i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
