I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
