I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize