If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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