I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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