just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
