I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
