I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
