I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
