If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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