he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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