Ambien. No doubt about it.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
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