Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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