fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
