I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize