He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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