Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
