if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
