I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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