Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
