Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
