Pappa wants mamma naked
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
