dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
